Friday, April 13, 2012

Getting Back To Happy (The Baby Blues - Part Two)

Things are getting better. I've made some tough choices over the past day or so but I know it will all pay off in the long run.

First, I was 100 percent honest, my total self in my last post. I needed to get it out, to not feel so alone, and it worked. I felt like I had hit rock bottom and then I let it all out -- to the internet and then finally to my mom and then to my husband... The lid finally popped and now I can begin to move on.

The next step I took was deleting my Facebook account. Plain and simple, Facebook just doesn't make me happy, at all. I will probably return at some point but right now I need a break.

Next I bought some new music and went to the gym, once the little ones were asleep. It was late, I was tired, but I forced myself to go and I'm so glad that I did. I ran as hard as I could and impressed myself. Nine months pregnant plus four months of almost no workouts and I can still keep up with the best of 'em; it's all mental. I made a choice to push through it, and I did. 

And I think that's something I need to re-apply to my day to day routine. Everyone keeps saying happiness is a state of mind; it's a choice. If I can run as if I've never been out of shape then I have the will power to get out of this funk. I have the will power to stop focusing on the little things in my life that are not so perfect because I have so much more to be happy about. 

I still have a long way to go, I'm just glad it's starting to get better. And I'm not ashamed to admit that today I'm not perfectly happy because (to me) I can't get better if I keep denying it.

It will get better.

bear's mom 

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