Getting Back To Happy (The Baby Blues - Part Two)

Things are getting better. I've made some tough choices over the past day or so but I know it will all pay off in the long run.

First, I was 100 percent honest, my total self in my last post. I needed to get it out, to not feel so alone, and it worked. I felt like I had hit rock bottom and then I let it all out -- to the internet and then finally to my mom and then to my husband... The lid finally popped and now I can begin to move on.

The next step I took was deleting my Facebook account. Plain and simple, Facebook just doesn't make me happy, at all. I will probably return at some point but right now I need a break.

Next I bought some new music and went to the gym, once the little ones were asleep. It was late, I was tired, but I forced myself to go and I'm so glad that I did. I ran as hard as I could and impressed myself. Nine months pregnant plus four months of almost no workouts and I can still keep up with the best of 'em; it's all mental. I made a choice to push through it, and I did. 

And I think that's something I need to re-apply to my day to day routine. Everyone keeps saying happiness is a state of mind; it's a choice. If I can run as if I've never been out of shape then I have the will power to get out of this funk. I have the will power to stop focusing on the little things in my life that are not so perfect because I have so much more to be happy about. 

I still have a long way to go, I'm just glad it's starting to get better. And I'm not ashamed to admit that today I'm not perfectly happy because (to me) I can't get better if I keep denying it.

It will get better.

xo

bear's mom 

Welcome baby!

HWK 11-22-11

So here you are Hannah! You arrived late on a Tuesday night. I had a feeling that the 22nd would be the day you would be ready to join us, even though I had hoped perhaps that it would happen earlier, I knew you would most certainly join us by that Tuesday night ~ a little bit of mommy intuition, I suppose.

You are now almost two weeks old. You are easy going, you sleep well (almost so well that it's hard to get you to eat at times... you tend to pass out before you can finish), and are generally content unless very hungry. I'm surprised at how many differences I see in you, already, compared to bear, neither good nor bad, just different. You two are certainly not the same people and in some ways it's almost as if you know you're not the only kiddo here that needs to be taken care of.

I'm not too sure just yet if you will be fully blonde. When we hold you up to the sun light we see lots of reds and blondes mixed in with your dark newborn baby hair. Your eyes still have no pigment but I have a good feeling they will be blue just like bear's and daddy's. We will have to wait and see what you hair and eyes decide to do.

I, even more than before, feel content and happy. I thought perhaps that I would be sharing the love I had for bear with you, but that's not true at all. My heart has only grown, rather than divided. And though I do have my moments, I am happier then ever to have brought you into our family. I've always wanted a large family and we are blessed to have you as a second addition. I am so excited to watch you grow, the year ahead of us is going to be an exciting one!

Your sister loves you very much too. She has had a little bit of trouble with the transition of having a new baby in the house but each day she becomes more adjusted. She loves doing tummy time with you and frequently offers you part of her lunch or snack. She wants to help me take care of you and she's is so very gentle with you. I am very impressed with how sweet she is to you. I know you two will be best buddies some day.

To my sweet Hannah ~ thank you for being the lovely sweet pea that you are.

xoxo