There is a lot on my mind lately as our due date approaches. I'm starting to get nervous, yet at the same time I have a strong feeling of faith that things will all come together as they should. I really just need to relax and be patient.
It is an odd feeling at times to know that you have a child on the way yet the only factual evidence that you have to support this is the bumping inside your tummy, a few ultra sounds and a monthly heart beat heard through the doctors hand held radio-like-machine. Yes, I've bonded with Hannah on some levels but it won't really begin until she gets here. And since bear is one busy munchkin I have a tendency to forget at times that she, soon, will no longer be an only child. It usually hits me like a lightning bolt at random points during the day--a shock or two of nerves--through my heart that this is actually happening... Don't miss understand me though, I want this 100%! With every minuscule part of my entire being! But everything we want in life comes with some stress and hard work.
I am scared that I will not be able to give equal attention to both of my daughters once Hannah arrives. But what scares me most is that bear may some day question how much I love her, as compared with her sister. Inevitably she will get jealous of her sister and I know as Hannah grows she will do the same. There will be fights amongst each other and eventually fights against me.
But as all my best friend always says: "It's baby steps. They don't come out as teenagers, you deal with each little issue as it comes along."
I know no matter what problem comes our way I will work as hard as I can to fix it. It's hard to remember that no one is perfect. It's facing our problems and working at them that makes things better; our biggest problems always seem to help us grow, as a person, as a mom.
I have faith that this is exactly how it was always meant to be.
To my two sweet daughters: I hope I can give you everything you ever needed!
xoxo
It is an odd feeling at times to know that you have a child on the way yet the only factual evidence that you have to support this is the bumping inside your tummy, a few ultra sounds and a monthly heart beat heard through the doctors hand held radio-like-machine. Yes, I've bonded with Hannah on some levels but it won't really begin until she gets here. And since bear is one busy munchkin I have a tendency to forget at times that she, soon, will no longer be an only child. It usually hits me like a lightning bolt at random points during the day--a shock or two of nerves--through my heart that this is actually happening... Don't miss understand me though, I want this 100%! With every minuscule part of my entire being! But everything we want in life comes with some stress and hard work.
I am scared that I will not be able to give equal attention to both of my daughters once Hannah arrives. But what scares me most is that bear may some day question how much I love her, as compared with her sister. Inevitably she will get jealous of her sister and I know as Hannah grows she will do the same. There will be fights amongst each other and eventually fights against me.
But as all my best friend always says: "It's baby steps. They don't come out as teenagers, you deal with each little issue as it comes along."
I know no matter what problem comes our way I will work as hard as I can to fix it. It's hard to remember that no one is perfect. It's facing our problems and working at them that makes things better; our biggest problems always seem to help us grow, as a person, as a mom.
I have faith that this is exactly how it was always meant to be.
To my two sweet daughters: I hope I can give you everything you ever needed!
xoxo
Jackie I have no doubt that both Hannah & Bear will live each day with the strong assurance that their mama loves them :) Can't wait to meet Miss Hannah & see my favorite disney-princess loving Bear again!!
ReplyDeleteSo much fun. It sounds like your best friend gave you some awesome advice. Your such a wonderful mother. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure you would! Motherhood is a wonderful thing! What a lovely post.
ReplyDeleteJ.C.
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