Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Case Of The No Good, Stinky, Rotten-Smelling, Terrible Twos!

Sometimes toddler hood has the ability to send you right into the loony bin. Not all of the time - most of the time you find yourself amazed and delighted with your little one/s, but there are definitely moments through out the day when a two year old can simply make you start to question your own sanity. It makes you want to report their terrible two'd activities to some upper party and demand that you "did not sign up for this!"

"This was not in my mommy contract..." 

Two year olds make no logical sense and it's hard at times as an adult to fully wrap your brain around their thought process. I am well experienced with two year olds. I worked with them professionally for years and I feel confident in the way that I handle bear because of it. But I still find myself wondering how some of these not so pleasant events continue to happen.

So what are these not so pleasant events that are sending my tippy toes almost into the deep end?
Well -- my sweet creative bear is not napping and has begun occupying a lot of her new free time in bed by painting her crib with her dirty diaper. I'm sure this sounds hilarious, I will probably laugh about it some day too. In fact I plan on telling her first boyfriend.

"Did you know bear liked playing with her poop?"

Ok maybe I won't do that but it certainly crossed my mind today as I uncomfortably scrubbed her bed for the umpteenth time in the past two weeks. I had thought we had gotten this crafty activity under control by putting bear in footy pj's with the zipper on backwards. Today it reached about 100 degrees and I figured a onesie would do the trick. Oh boy was I wrong! Wrong to the tenth power! I had so much faith in that gosh-darn onesie that it didn't even occur to me, when I walked by bear's room and smelled poop, that bear was making another fecal masterpiece. I blamed it on the pregnancy and continued about my house work feeling happy that, during this nap time, I was going to get a lot done.

And just in the midst of my house work bliss I heard bear cry out "Mommy! I'm dirty!"

Oy, child! Why do you do this to your mother? I put bear right into the shower, cleaned her off, dried her off, set up her pack n play in our bedroom, put bear quickly back down and headed to the poopy covered bedroom and began cleaning.

~It is not easy to clean a crib when you have a large baby bump in the way. I cried once, simultaneously, as bear cried for me to come back and take her out of bed. I had plans of getting so much done today and now, instead, I'd be spending my nap break scrapping smelly poopies off a white crib.

I pouted some more then quickly popped my head phones in and went to work.

One hour later, the room was clean. And as I pulled my head phones out, mildly in relief,  there it was -- the toddler whines and cries for mommy to come get her. Yes, bear was still awake. Some days a mommy just can't win. I gave myself five minutes and then went in to get her, only to find her naked again and with no sheets, blanket or mattress in the pack n play. At least there was no poop this time.

I hope this pattern breaks soon. The terrible twos are certainly at their worst when bear isn't sleeping. My sweet easy going child is learning to speak her mind and I've begun wondering who has abducted my bear? The sleepy time elf's perhaps?

It's just another phase I'm sure. I have faith, just like all our other terrible two phases, that this too shall pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain (or the poop...), right?

And don't worry my little bear, I still love you "so much!" even when you are covered in poop!

bear's mom


  1. I've heard of people cutting the feet off of footed pajammas, then putting them on thier kids backwards to keep them from undressing themselves and taking off thier diaper. Just a thought, hugs! My 21 month old is making his way to the TTs. Ugh.

  2. Did you take photos for future blackmail when she is 16? Just a thought.
    I don't know what to tell you about the poop and painting. It happens.

  3. Christina - We've been putting footed pj's on her backwards and twisting the feet forward. Cutting the feet off is a good idea ~ Think I might do that for extra comfort.

    Susan - I definitely considered taking a picture but part of me doesn't want to remember this, haha. It's been over a week since our last poopy session, thank goodness! We've stuck with backwards pj's during nap and bedtime and it seems to have done the trick!