Awaiting Hannah

So here we are, almost 24 weeks along. My stomach is quite large now and there is absolutely no way of hiding it. I am pregnant and Hannah reminds me of it every day. In fact she reminds me quite frequently through out the day. I have to say that her movements feel different than bear's. She does not kick like bear did, she seems to swivel, turn, and stretch rather then just stick her feet out as far as they can possibly go. But what's really different with Hannah is that sometimes I feel like she may be grabbing at me from the inside -- is this possible? I don't know ~ It might just be a crazy pregnancy side effect.

Or perhaps she's attempting an early exit...

The timing of her kicks are quite funny, she often kicks at night when I have bear leaning up against my large stomach, as we read bed time stories. Hannah obviously wants to be part of the fun, and with each kick I imagine how, in a year, she will be sitting on my lap too listening to stories, as we settle in for the night.

Now many of you may wonder why I immediately feel that it's ok to give away Hannah's name but not bear's. Well I don't know exactly who she is just yet: will she be a piglet, an owl, a turtle... ? I don't know what her nick name will be but I do feel her name strongly all of a sudden, as if choosing this name was absolutely the right thing to do for her. So I just don't want to hide it, at least not at this time.

My husband picked the name Hannah after favoring Ray LaMontagne's song "Hannah." It is a beautiful song and Chris told me often after bear's birth that if we had another girl he wanted her to be Hannah. So of course I said yes, I like names to have meaning. Even if it's after just a song, I look forward to the day when I can tell Hannah why we picked her name.

I do have to admit though that I did question "Hannah" briefly after we found out we were having a girl. Name butterflies I suppose... What if it's just not right? I thought on and off... Until I remembered a favorite book of mine "The Wholeness of a Broken Heart." Now don't get confused by the title. The story is about four generations of Jewish women; Hannah is the name of the main daughter. And though the relationship she has with her mother is not perfect, there is a lot of love between them. They are very close; growing up Hannah's mother was very warm, open and loving. And as I read the book early in my college years I would constantly think, maybe even pray a little, that if I was blessed with children, that I wanted to be a mother just like Hannah's... And I still hope that I can be.



So there it is. We still have a while to go. And yes I'm scared and at times overwhelmed but I know that you are going to bring us wonderful things, Hannah. I can't wait to see your beautiful face!