Gratitude

I am asking for gratitude today. I have been stuck in a pretty negative place and I know the only way out is through gratitude.

Once our mind dips into a negative spiral it is really hard to get it to stop. It likes the negativity and feeds on it. Those *gremlins are alive and kicken' it in my mommy exhausted brain.

It all started on Saturday, I had one brief moment of insecurity and it has been a game of dominos ever sense. I kept trying to negotiate with it but the more you fight yourself to stop thinking about something, the more you think about it.

"Don't think about pink elephants!"

Are you thinking about pink elephants?

Of course you are.

But I've cried my tears and it's time to climb out of this hole and reach for gratitude.

What are you grateful for? What are your blessings? It is easy to get carried away with all the things that are going wrong. The minute we chose gratitude, is the minute everything changes.

Gratitude is the moment when God picks me up, wipes my tears, and reminds me that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.

We can either chose to see all that is wrong with the world or we can chose to see all that is right. I chose right. 

I am grateful for this life.

How Running Saved The Momma in Me...

About two years ago, after my second child was born, I was stewing in a serious mess-of-a-fog. Stampeded by the terrible threes and a colicky baby; I was exhausted, tired, and out of shape. From looking into the mirror to looking out at my life - I was a mom zombie, just trying to survive.

Drowning in diapers and tantrums, I was at my lowest of low, struggling to manage life with two very little children.

I didn't want to admit it at the time, but looking back, i'm pretty sure I was suffering from a bit of postpartum depression... 

In an attempt to change things I started going to the gym, but that wasn't   enough. It was as if my body had frozen in time and no eleptical machine was going to zap me back to the present. 

That cloud of fog continued to follow me around, like Eeyore and his gloomy rain cloud...

With the encouragement of my husband, I decided to begin training for a marathon; things began to change. 

Slowly, week after week, the running pulled me out from the fog -- It pulled me out from my darkest of places. It brought the color back into my heart. It showed me how amazing life can really be. 

Most importantly, it showed me how to enjoy the journey, because life is the journey -- The ups and the downs, the hard moments and the simple ones, the mediocrity and the extraordinary.  

And, for when I feel like I have no control, when I feel worn out from the day, when I'm sad and broken, and I just want to give in...

I run.

And my run always brings me back. It helps me climb life's hurtles. It helps me reach the mountain tops and the steep hills. It helps me push through the pain, all in the hopes of reaching the other side, stronger than before.

Running: It helps me step out the door when I don't want to. It's the one last whisper, telling me to try again. It's the door to my soul, the door to my faith...

It's putting one foot infront of the other, every single day.

Because that's life. 

That's running.