I've been looking at bear a lot lately. I can't believe that she will be three years old in just two weeks. That means that I've been a mom for three whole years. At times it feels like I've always been a mother and at other times I feel so uneducated in the way of parenting.
And so I've been reflecting. Reflecting on bear, on who she is and how I've been parenting her. In some ways I feel that I've been too hard on her lately. I expect a lot from her as I often forget that she is just two...
Not only is she tall for her age but she speaks very well.
It's not until she asks some sort of question like this one:
"Can I have a mustache for my birthday?"
That I'm slapped back into reality.
Oh dear. I forgot you were only two again, gulp...
As I begin to dissect this issue I've truly realized that I haven't been too hard with my form of discipline, it's my disciplining that has lacked what it once was. Originally I tried to use bear's mistakes, miss-behaving moments and whatnots as a time for some learning. And it generally worked, she responded well and we moved on.
But once I became pregnant and then had roo, bear became quite testy and I found myself having to be stricter. Giving her immediate consequences to let her know that I meant business. I also found a lot of her behavior directed at me, following roo's arrival, which caught me off guard, leaving me disoriented when it came to disciplining. It also left me a little uptight...
There is a fine line with a bear and if one is not careful she'll walk all over you. I struggle regularly with that line.
It's time to remind myself to take a step back. Review the situation and talk with bear first about the appropriate behavior that she should be using in each situation. And then from there I can revert to the strictness that I have been sticking to.
Sometimes as an adult it's hard to remember being a child. It's hard to remember that children just don't understand the world the way we do.
I remember being regularly misunderstood growing up. Often when I was in trouble myself it was a bit of a surprise to me as I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong. I was a day dreamy kind of girl, frequently side tracked, and I think bear is this way too.
Imagination is a wonderful thing! But it needs to be harnessed and focused and most importantly not punished.
So I can't expect bear to act perfect all of the time and I need to remember that making mistakes are the best way to learn; the best way to mature, find focus, find a better way of doing things and the best way for bear to figuring out that what mommy has to say is important.
And I think I need to relax a little, unwind myself, and continue to refocus.
So forgive me bear. I am just as much a work in process as you.
This time last year.
(Pregnant with roo)
(Pregnant with roo)