I'm going to try something a little different this time around, as I've decided to open up a little in regards to Giselle. Yes, Supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Not only know as one of the hottest models for Victoria's Secret, she is also the last model to reach supermodel status. Yes, Gisele has it all, perfect body, perfect bank account, perfect new baby, and perfect husband, Tom Brady. But I'm really not jealous or that interested in Gisele's supermodel life. I'm sure it's fabulous but there are other reasons this particular supermodel is on my mind.
I bring all this up because Gisele has yet again opened her mouth and made a broad statement with no information, or reasoning (or common sense), to back herself up. She was recently quoted as saying that sunblock is "poison" and that she never goes outside after 8am. While I have generally disregarded Gisele as an ingnornat, non-compassionate, rude, new know-it-all mother, I have to say I slightly agree with her...
I, too am not a big fan of sun block, as scientific research is showing that a lot of the common, mainstream, sun lotions contain chemicals that can cause cancer. But not all sun blocks are bad, you just need to do your research, use only when needed, and try to use other methods of protections, such as: sun hats, clothes, etc.
But this is NOT a blog about educating you on sun blocks or attempting to feel sympothetic towards Gisele. This is more me trying to figure out what is going on in Giselle's head. The more I think about her comments, the more I feel bad for her. I think she really means well but is horribly bad at expressing it.
When Giselle said:
"It should be a law to breast feed...''
Perhaps what she really meant to say was:
"It should be against the law to not have the money and benefits that I have, which make this first attempt at breast feeding so darn easy..."
And When Giselle said:
"Sun block is poison... I never go out in the sun past 8am"
Perhaps she really meant:
"I am concerned about the long term effects of sunblock on my skin, though I should probably check on the horrible chemicals in my spray tanner before I try to educate you on this subject..."
I don't mean to sound snooty.
Well, maybe a little. But, honestly, if Gisele never opened her mouth about the whole breast feeding thing in the first place then I wouldn't have thought one second about the sunblock comment. But the bitterness, that sits on my chest and around my heart from her previous comments regarding breast feeding, has just been laying around waiting to be stirred back up again.
So let me tell you Giselle, while you sat in your super expensive house, nursing your child with constant help from you personal assistants (i.e., nannies, nurses, etc.). My first attempt at nursing did not go so well. I tried hard for two months to make it work, so afraid that I would fail. Fail society, fail my standards, but most importantly- fail my own daughter. The very first thing I tried to do good for my daughter just wouldn't work! And I still feel guilty to this day, especially when I see other mothers having such an easy time with it. Seeing someone comfortably nurse their babies and gush about how great their bond is starts to shake my confidence again. All that second guessing kicks in-- maybe they're stronger than me, maybe they're better equipped mentally and physically, maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe they're a better mom...
Maybe someone told them some sort of breast feeding secret...
I know in the long run I made the best decision, not only for my daughter, but for all of us as a whole. Bear was unable to comfortably digest breast milk, she had horrible rashes, blood and mucous in her stools, and she was colicky for days and DAYS on end. My husband and I were not sleeping, I was having melt down after melt down, and on top of it all, I was sore beyond belief. I went to lactation consultation after lactation consultantation appointment to help the pain (all out of pocket costs, which inevitably were a large waste of money -- did you ever have this problem, Giselle? Just wondering...) but nothing changed. I tried every position invented for nursing, nothing worked! And it didn't really matter anyways-- I could have hung bear upside down from my boob, it still wouldn't have taken away the pain coming from her tiny, still developing, stomach.
After many doctor appointments, changing my diet around four times, a gazillion late night calls with the on-call staff, and peronsal online research, we hit our limit. As soon as Chris came home that Monday night I sped off to the store and bought nutramigen, an easy to digest (very expensive) formula. And, within 24 hours, we all began to sleep again. Bear became content, I stopped melting, and my chest healed.
So yes, I may have failed bear in this way, she may be one point lower in regards to her IQ than the rest of her class. But, I'll tell you this, my dear supermodel friend, for all that we've lost in 10 months of formula, I will make up tenfold in every other way!
And I already have...
Bear is already ahead of most kids her age, she's smart, healthy, prefers veggies to junk, and has no allergies to speak of. She is sweet, happy, loves to cuddle, and has a strong bond with her mommy.
To sum things up, thank you Giselle for opening your mouth again because it has given me a chance to get all of this off my chest. Of course I do feel mildly bad for all the negativity, I'm sure Gisele is a great mom, just as all of us are. If anything, your words have taught me never to judge another mother, because I will never really understand her until I spend a day in her manola blahnik, hiking boots, old navy flip flops, or her run down, green, knock off, shoes.
And, as I ponder about this whole thing some more, I think I just needed this blog to prove to myself that this really was the right choice.
We all do things differently and that's because we are all different.