"Dead Weight"

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I'm still in a bit of a rut this week. I've sat down three times now, trying to get a decent post out, but it just seems to go no where; just pile after pile of rambling paragraphs. This morning I finally came to the realization that I'm not really tapping into my feelings, and my feelings seem to be dragging me down, like a heavyweight clasped to my leg...

Just because I don't want to acknowledge my feelings doesn't mean they're not there. And I'm clearly not going to get anywhere until I do.

I keep imagining the Walker, in this past Sunday's Walking Dead episode, who was left sunken at the bottom of a lake. Once a normal human, he has now reemerged as a "Walker" only to continuously struggle to reach the surface, as his legs have been tied down. No wonder the title of the episode is "Dead Weight."

Life lessons can come from the strangest of places!

                                                               
                                               
                                             
< Insert zombie growl here >


So back to business - I've been trying to let go of some personal things for over a week now, but it's incredibly hard at times. It takes effort every day and there are definitely moments during each day that I feel incredibly defeated. But each moment of defeat seams to bring me to a better level of understanding. I suppose I'm climbing the staircase of letting go; I'm sure I quickly slid down the slide of "holding on" a long time ago, so the road back up to the top is a steep and narrow path.

What I'm learning is that it's being willing to get up every day, to brush yourself off and try again and continue back up that steep and narrow path. It's continuously reminding yourself that you are human, you're not the only one who struggles with this, even though it feels this way sometimes. And it's always remembering that each struggle is a lesson in disguise.

So here's to embracing struggle, because without it we'd never learn anything.