Wednesday, October 16, 2013

It's time to open up.

The past year or so has been really tough. Not because of any major life events but because I've been fighting my own personal war; a continuing battle which I was never fully aware off until I had two.

Two children. 

To exceptionally wonderful children that is.... But this isn't about them...

What is it about kids that brings out all our garbage? Our baggage? When times get tough you have to evaluate who you are and sometimes facing that truth really hurts. I use to bag it up, put it in a jar, thinking if I hid it away it would never come out. But I was wrong, the jar was too full and spilling over into every aspect of my life. I became cloudy and foggy; I didn't know where right and wrong was... All of a sudden I was trapped in the jar.

When you seal up the baggage you seal yourself up too.

Today I realize that acknowledging my flaws, even though it's very painful at times, is much easier on my soul than hiding them down deep and denying that they exist.

This battle will always be on going, I have entered the classroom of my life. The world is my teacher and I'm learning to let go and open myself up; to unravel my destiny rather than force it down a path I think I belong in.

I'm not sure where my blog is going any more but it is changing. My kids will be here but I will be focusing more personal events as I continue my journey toward becoming a better mom (not a perfect one), becoming a better friend (one who provides support and compassion - just like I need), and on become a better wife and daughter and sister. A better family member to all the important people in my life.

bear's mom

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