Monday, April 18, 2011

To be a better mom, I need to be a better me.

With daddy being gone for work so much these days, it's definitely been hard to find some personal down time. Bear is getting into the terrible twos now, which spark the most in the evening, when I could really use an extra pair daddy hands! I've always felt prepared for these moments, as I previously worked professionally with children who had tantrums frequently and became easily upset - so I know how to keep my patience and work through these moments. But these days, at home, my core (my chi... my sanity) is always dying for a break when the clock hits 5 o'clock, which I use to get at my job, but that doesn't happen when you're at home, alone, without your husband. So I just have to push through, as I'm sure many mommy's out there do, everyday.

Don't get me wrong, though. Bear is still very sweet, she's just becoming testy, she's experimenting with me, and I really need to remind myself that she's just learning about me and how things work. She's trying to see how far she can push mommy and what she can get away with. And I know, if I want her to learn appropriately from her testy behaviors, I need to keep calm and follow through. Which I've been doing, but it's harder now to fully let these moments roll off my back like they once did. I never EVER over react with bear (it's something I promised myself I would never do, and though this may change some day in the future, it is one of the things I truly hope to keep in check, above all other things) but lately during these events, I feel all muddled up and flustered inside - as if I'm heading in a direction of overreacting. I haven't gotten to the angered stage but I feel that I'm not responding 100% the way I'd really like to; I just can't seem to fully shake the moment. I want to be able to just go with it, in a relaxed manner. I expect her to act this way - as all toddlers do, but those quick behaviors can leave you flustered at times.

I know this will all pass soon, bear will settle in once she figures out that her testy attempts aren't going to get her very far. I'm sure we will be up and down with tantrums and testiness for the next few years -which I'm ready for; I signed up for this when I decided to be a mom! I just need to find a way to stay positive and keep my energy up. Which is much easier said than done...

Here's my plan:

1) Smile when I feel flustered. For some reason a smile seems to take the edge off of a crummy moment. Now I just need to remember to do this, in the moment!

2) Do Yoga or Cardio everyday. I've been living up to this for the most part, I've at least hit 5 out of 7 days for the past two weeks. I'm hoping to eventually wake up at 6 am for my workout so I can use that energy to start my day off better. I'll start that once I'm successful with this list.

3) Go to bed early and nap during nap time, when needed. This will be the hardest one to do!

I'll post back soon on my progress!

Bear's mom

1 comment:

  1. If you've never lost it yet, I'd say you're doing pretty freakin' well. My son is 26 months and is definitely in the testing stage. Most of the time I can handle the testing pretty well, but I gotta say, there have been a few "Mommy's going to the bathroom and no you can't come" moments that I'm not particularly proud of. He survived, and I was able to open the door and start all over!

    Found you on bloggymoms. Following on GFC.