Showing posts with label perfect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perfect. Show all posts

Thursday, April 3, 2014

A Perfect Day

Today was perfect. 

We were busy doing things we enjoyed, periodically together and periodically separate, but always side by side.

The girls didn't need TV today, their morning had been perfectly structured, and they were satisfied with how the day was playing out.

While the little one slept, bear and I relaxed out back, reviewing her numbers and letters. Bear in the shade and me warming myself in the sun. 

When the bear had had enough, we sat together, smooshed into one lawn chair, talking. The warm sun still warming me.

Daddy arrived home early. 

Bear and I had moved on to tap dancing and the little one was just beginning to stir. 

It was time for chores. 

The girls moved to play-dough and played quietly in the back yard. The husband and I worked.

When the chores were finished, I took off for a run. When I came back, my two girls had connected their ikea play tunnels to their sleeping bags. Two green and pink tubes extended across the playroom and a muffled voice from inside one of the sleeping bags began to talk.

"I'm in the dirt, mommy! I'm a worm!"

"You are a worm!"

Dinner time. 

The husband and the little one went to our garden to collect our salad, while burgers sizzled on the grill. The girls helped me wash and peel our veggies and life began to slow down for a bit. 


Today we are getting it right - this moment is right - I thought to myself. We don't always get it right, but today, in this sliver of a moment, we are.

We sat down to eat and bear requested to say a prayer.

"Thank you God for this food, for this family, and for camping...

The little ones chomped away, mostly on their veggies, and I certainly couldn't complain. Veggies straight from the garden always seem to be more delectable. 

We ended the day with frozen yogurt. 

The sun was setting, pink and light blue hues stretched across the sky as we drove towards town. The little ones knew they were staying up past their bed time.

Bear and daddy picked their own yogurt from the large industrial-esk machines with the thin white handles. The little one and I shared, she requesting while I manned the handles. 

We quietly sat down together, enjoying our treats. The little one slowly ate, taking the tiniest bites known to man. She had asked for cherry but it was evident that only the vanilla was up to her standards, as she scrapped away any pinkness that cross contaminated her vanilla spoon. 

The sun had set. 

The little ones were ready for bed and without a sound, they crawled out of the van, put on their pjs, brushed their teeth, and went off to bed.

"Goodnight moon. Goodnight house and the red balloon..."

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Being Present ~ It's A Hard Battle!

The past few weeks have been really nice. The troubles that I had with bear have mellowed substantially and both of my girls are beginning to play well together. And it isn't just the playing, when one gets hurt the other will run to her side with a hugs. They are all around sweet with each other; I will frequently hear bear trying to teach her little sister something and it's absolutely the most wonderful sound a mother could hear. So I'm enjoying this moment and letting it remind me that, yes, I am doing something right!

But even though a lot of wonderfully sweet things are happening, we still have our moments. Just this afternoon they both fought over a pillowcase and then over a stuffed turtle. The littlest one also likes to hit her big sister for kicks when she's getting cranky. It's a constant up and down/back and forth battle.

One area that I seem to be improving on is staying present, which is incredibly hard to do! I will frequently look back on a day and feel like I've zoomed through it in a daze. Being present is an ongoing process and I am frequently unaware that I've checked out, until it's already happened.

Between my phone, the chores and all the other things that I want to get done it's hard not to be distracted. And then there are the days when you just want to check out, you want to run away -- those are the hardest. When the kids won't stop asking for something and the dog won't stop ripping garbage up (OK that probably only happens in my house) and then there's the creepy big spider wandering around the sunlight, above the stove while you're make dinner, and he won't stop taunting you with his beady eyes (Ok, that only happens at my house...) and your husband's out of town, and....

I could go on and on. But I'm trying, every day, I'm trying; I'm picking myself back up and starting over. And I forgive myself for my mistakes and remind myself that I am not defined by them - one bad decision doesn't make me a bad mother and a million good decisions won't make me a perfect one either. There's beauty in this madness, somewhere, I know it!

*Sigh....

As Brene Brown would say: I'm imperfect and I am enough!