The rain is raining on my parade...

So we had a bit of a rocky day today: Daddy took off for another out of town work week last night, bear woke up at 6 am sharp this morning, and the sun decide not to shine until late in the afternoon.

At first the crummy day left me with a cozy feeling as we see the sun 99.6% of the year,  thus the occasional change is usually welcome. So I figured today would be a great day to make some lentil soup and maybe some veggie broth since I conveniently had everything I needed in the pantry. Though, in the back of my mind, the anxiety of being stuck inside all day was mildly chipping away at my hopes that today would be a smooth and easy, hang around the house, kind of day.

When we don't have plans for the day we usually head out of the house about 9 am--Me, bear, and Acadia. We run all together, bear in the B.O.B. and Acadia on the leash. Our run includes a half way stop at the nature park where I let bear get out and explore while I simultaneously play catch with Acadia, using her chuck it. This is usually just what I need to refocus myself especially when it comes to bear.

But today it decided to rain, and since daddy wasn't home, and bear woke up at 6 am (not one minute before or after) there was no time for me to take a shower, which was desperately needed if we were going to attempt a public outing. So, as I said previously, I figured we'd be ok inside especially since bear has recently gotten more independent with her play time. Her ability to attend to toys for extended periods is expanded and so I just figured I would have ample opportunity to take care of some house work and my soup. But this was not bear's intentions for the day. Nope! Unfortunately bear was surprisingly very needy, she didn't want to be away from me for more than a minute, and each time I tried to complete even the smallest of tasks, bear immediately requested something and then in my attempts to appease her she would just as quickly change her mind and decided she wanted something else. I really felt like a mama chicken with her head cut off...

Now don't get me wrong. I try to devote a certain amount of time to bear every day. It's my way of making sure that I provide bear with my full attention daily because, as we all know, being present isn't easy. But with the constant clinginess and requesting-ness of bear, I just kept wanting to check out! Which only led to mommy guilt, which then only led to me spinning my wheels trying to make up for the lack of "in the moment" presences I'm having.

When nap time arrived I felt a huge sigh of relief! I finished my soup, cleaned up, and took a nice shower. Just in time for bear to start mumbling and grumbling from her mid day slumber. I popped bear out of bed, we made a few phone calls, and then headed out for our almost daily run, because the sun did finally decide to shine (hooo-ray!). As soon as I stepped out of the house I felt so much better! So much better that I almost started to feel a little bad for all the mommies I know who are stuck inside all winter long. I hope they find a way to sanity while stuck in doors-- and if you know that secret, please feel free to share!

So bear ran and wondered around through the rosemary and on through the labyrinth of entwined oak tree branches. We then explored her favorite spots- the ("cake") creak, the ("cactus!") cactus bushes (which we've learned not to touch!), and ("echo!") the pavilion. All the while I flung Acadia's bright orange and blue tennis ball across the park, satisfied with all of the energy I was squeezing out of the energizer puppy...

We all came home happy, I started to feel a little better, though I have to admit I still felt a little checked out, as the day continued, and nothing I did seemed to make it truly go away. Even as I write this blog, at this very moment, I don't feel present... but how can I not be present if I'm presently writing? How can you write if you're not present? And how can you feel like you're not present if you think you actually are....

Yes, I know, my brain's tung is tied, too...

I think this is really just a sign that it's time to just stop thinking and head to bed.

Oh! How I pray for the abilitly to be a more present mommy tomorrow!

I love you bear!

xoxo
Bear's mom 

From Disney to LA and back again...

So I've been lagging on the posts lately... but only because we've had so much going on! Bear is learning new words and sounds almost every day.

Things we can say as of today (started speaking in this chronological order):

Mama

Dada

buh-bye

hat(haaa)

ball(bow)

baba

(for the sheep in "Brown bear brown bear")

more (moe)

[just started today(7/28/20)]

Words we've attempted:

Juice

all done

(We hear her attempt words often-- can't remember them all)

New Signs:

bird/duck

(used today while seeing a duck in a book)

Today uncle Josh left us to return back to NY. He spent almost a full week visiting, so we had a jammed packed few days of exploring a decent portion of LA and Orange County! We spent a good portion of Josh's visit at Disneyland.

Chris bought bear and I the premium year round (every day of the year we can go to Disney at any time that we want to!!!) pass to both Disneyland and California Adventure. I now plan on taking bear to Disney once a week! Just entering the parking lot and walking around Downtown Disney makes me feel like a kid again. I am so blessed to be able to take bear whenever we feel like going. No need to make big plans, or leave town, the most magical place on earth is located 20 minutes north east of home! I am really looking forward (besides the general excitement of it all) to Christmas time at the park! Bear will be 16 months at that point, fully walking and a lot more aware of Christmas (at least a lot more aware than she was last year!). With all of the special events that they have for the holidays, I know it will make SoCal feel more Christmas-ey when we visit. I am so excited! A year ago I had never been to either Disney and now we can go anytime that we want! And, even for such a little bear, there is a lot to do at both parks. We are also fortunate enough to have amazing neighbors who go to the park weekly too~ So bear's little friend T. will be there to play with from time to time. And lets be honest, playing at Disney is a lot more fun than playing at the park!

As for Chris, he's still out of town on business during the weeks so it was really nice to

have someone else here in the house to keep us company. Having an extra set of hands certainly wasn't bad either! Acadia was great with Josh the entire visit, though she seemed to think Josh was a sucker for her cuteness and wouldn't stop begging him to play or give her attention, as she thinks only Chris and I know what's she's up to. And of course she assumes that Josh came to visit just to see her...

Every morning that Josh was here we continued our usual morning routine: when bear wakes up at 6 am sharp we change, pack up and head out for Acadia's 45 min. walk (with catch time included). I'd try hard to keep quite as we worked on getting out of the house (a surprisingly strenuous event that happens between wake up and walk "take off") so Josh wouldn't be disturbed. When I wasn't able to keep full tabs on Acadia she would sneak away and lick Josh in the face; it's Acadia's personal morning wake up call... she'd do it to us too but our bed is too high off the ground...

"Hey Josh, It's time for my walk, then we play catch and after that we eat... maybe I'll share some kibble with you... get up!"~ I'm guessing this is what Acadia was thinking...

Over the weekend when Chris was home, Josh and I took off to hang out at Disney for the adult rides. Tower of Terror was by far our favorite, I'm dying to go on it again!!! I could ride it all day I think... We also spent a day in LA checking out the regular tourist traps: The walk of Stars and the Hollywood sign. On our way up to LA we stopped right out side the main city in search of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory and we were lucky enough to find it! It was fairly well hidden in the middle of a huge industrial/factory area. It was the only building that looked brand new and well kept. We did not see Rob or any MTV stuff. If we lived closer I'd probably start stalking the area, waiting to see some camera's... it's a good thing LA is, at minimum, a 45 min. drive...

At the end of our LA tour we drove by "The Ivy." I, sadly, watch TMZ regularly and I knew that paparazzi hung out in front of the cute little picket-fenced (with ivy...) restaurant in Beverly Hills. It was neat to see the place but no luck regarding celebrities or paparazzi.

Later in the week, when Chris headed out to Nevada, we took Josh to our favorite new Cafe! It's a 100% green cafe and they have a play area for kids which is enclosed! Bear explored toys while Josh and I ate and drank coffee. Bear also took a lot of mini snack breaks every few minutes to sit with mommy and sneak a few pieces of my chocolate donut. Aaaaah, the life of a toddler! Playing and donuts...

After our cafe stop we visited Oakley's head quarter's which is located pretty much around the corner from us. The location of the building is pretty amazing, it opens up to a nice view of Saddleback mountain (the horribly long and pain-

ful mountain Chris and I climbed 3 years ago only to find the top covered in satellite and cell phone towers...yuck, fortunately you can't really see them from afar...). At the top of the long hilly drive way, an army tank is parked to the side of the road with "Oakley" printed across it. There were also a variety of other army like cars parked around the building, painted with Oakley's branding on it. The building itself looks like it's straight from a video game or a futuristic Sci-Fi movie. There is an "O" store right in the lobby and you can try on any pair of glasses without requesting that it be unlocked first...

To the side of the entrance, was a very

nice dirt racetrack for remote control cars and a bunch of the employees were enjoying their break by racing their cars... Or maybe they get paid to do this? Either way, it looks like working for Oakley is a lot of fun!

Our last day with uncle Josh was spent at Disney for one

last ride and then a late afternoon trip to Huntington Beach.

Our neighbor happened to be at Disney that day too and offered to watch bear while we went on a few rides. Bear certainly didn't mind leaving mommy for a bit as she was able to play with her best friend T. I don't think she even noticed that I left :).

I was then able to go on splash mountain with Josh (we originally planned for Josh to go by himself), the only adult ride we weren't able to ride over the weekend. We had a lot of fun but we were freezing by the time we made it back to bear.

Later that day we took Josh for a late lunch at Huntington beach. It was too chilly (for us) to go swimming so we hung out on the pier and had lunch at Ruby's~ Which provides the only perfectly clear view of the ocean in probably all of Orange County.

Before we knew it, it was departing day. We got up, got ready, and dropped him off.

Hopefully he will come back soon!