Showing posts with label frustrated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustrated. Show all posts

Monday, May 28, 2012

A Butter Pecan Melt Down.


Being a mom is realy hard. In fact some days it's the hardest thing I've ever done. It's draining, repetitive, frustrating and all around tiring. But what I seem to struggle with the most is finding time for myself - how does one find time when there is no time? How does one sit down and relax, read a book, exercise, watch a movie when there's dinner to be made, laundry to be folded, toys to be picked up, pottys to be cleaned...?

Oy!

Yet even in the hardest moments I still find myself loving every minute of it.

Even in the hardest times, I know this too shall pass.


Just two weeks ago I sat out on my parents patio (we're visiting from SoCal) with a bowl full of ice cream. I had intended to eat it as soon as the kids got down for their naps. It seemed feasible this day, roo went down and then I went on to bear.

Made her lunch and prepped her room and pj's for nap time while she ate.

And somewhere between lunch time and bear's final attempt to keep me from leaving her bedroom, roo woke up...

It had been a full hour all ready and I so desperately wanted to sit down and enjoy that ice cream, but it just wasn't in the cards today.

As roo kicked and babbled in her bed I aggressively scooped my butter pecan out of it's box as if every scoop would send the little one back to bed. No such luck.

I was angry, I felt cheated... so cheated I couldn't even eat my ice cream. I just sat there and stared at it, angrily.

The anger just started to boil and before I knew it I was raising my hands up to smash the bowl on to the patio below...

But caught myself just in time.

If anyone had happened to see me just at the moment for sure they would have thought I was crazy.

So I cried and cried and cried.

And sniffed and sobbed...

Until the moment past.

I quickly ate up my ice cream, cleaned up my bowl and sighed.

I just needed that moment. And the moment had passed. I felt better - I moved on. I picked up roo and we spent the next hour together, happily playing and bouncing, until it was time for another nap again.

And just as I said goodnight.

Bear woke up.

:)

Friday, July 8, 2011

I blog, right?

Remember how I use to blog? Yeah. Well, I guess I forgot a little too... Seems a second pregnancy can really change a girls motivation for writing in the evening.

Now that we are almost 5 months in, the morning sickness is (FINALLY) gone and we now know that we're having a girl(!)  ~ I thought I should catch up on things a little ~ It's time to start putting some more effort back into this whole blogging thing.

Besides pregnancy news, bear had her second birthday two weeks ago. We had an amazing party for her. It was small, just a few of her friends with their families, but it ended up being a really great time for all of us. We set up at the near by nature park, barbecued, had amazing cup cakes, and the kids played happily with bubbles, in-between free wagon rides from all the daddies at the party. It was a very special day for our favorite girl!



Bear is certainly growing into her big girl self. She is still sweet in so many ways, most especially when it comes to her friends and mommy and daddy's friends, as well. She loves everyone in her life and shows it frequently with hugs. She will independently hug my best mommy friend whenever she gets the chance.

Though expression of love comes easy for bear she is having trouble sharing at times but it is more in regards to when someone takes something from her. She becomes very angry and yells "No! Stop that!" (Which is also what she yells when she's mad at anything, or anyone, lately). And if the perpatrater, who was trying to steal the desired toy, was unlucky and didn't get away with the toy, within seconds bear will go right up to the girl or boy and hand them the toy. I'm assuming she really does want to share, she just doesn't want her toys to be ripped out of her hands. And I certainly wouldn't either!


What impresses me most (still) with bear is that she continues to be very sociable. She says hi to every little girl and boy she meets without any hesitation and I have to admit that it breaks my heart at times when other children don't return her hello -- though I know this does not bother bear one bit, which is great! It just rolls right off her back and she moves on to the next big attention grabbing thing. She is nothing like her mommy, always timid and shy... I don't think she got theses amazing social skills from my side of the gene pool.

With age, comes testing and discipline and bear is getting to know the word "timeout" a little too well. The main reason she lands in the timeout chair at the ripe age of two is because she is hitting when she gets frustrated. I am trying to work with her to express herself with words when she is angry but she is still a little too young to fully understand what "angry" and "mad" really mean. So lately I take a smack or two to the head...

Bear also gets easily frustrated when she is unable to do something by herself. Which is fairly normal, but her level of frustration lately seems excessive. I'm working hard with her to try to calm down and try again. Sometimes this works fairly easily and sometimes she is just too upset. During these times I wait her out and together we try again. It's tough and some days it really wears me out but I know that it's important that she takes this time to learn that it's ok to get frustrated but we have to keep trying and not let it get the best of us. She is only two, baby steps for both of us, reminding myself that I am teach bear an important skill makes it easier when my weakest moments of low patience hit. I am not perfect but we are both learning together.

So it's summer time, the weather has been hot and thus we're spending a lot of time swimming at the pool, at the beach, and playing in the play fountains at the plaza up the road. We only have two more weeks left on our Disney pass, which we will both miss. But I'm hoping to enroll bear in a gymnastics mommy and me class before baby number two arrives. If bear likes the class she will be able to take the class independently later in the year... which will be a nice little break for mommy if all goes well!


We will miss Disney but we hope to get a new pass again once little miss number two is ready to handle a big morning outing at one of the most exciting places in southern cali.

Well that's all for now. Life is really good and I can't wait to see what amazing things our next little munchkin has to bring us.


Bear's mom