To be a better mom, I need to be a better me.

With daddy being gone for work so much these days, it's definitely been hard to find some personal down time. Bear is getting into the terrible twos now, which spark the most in the evening, when I could really use an extra pair daddy hands! I've always felt prepared for these moments, as I previously worked professionally with children who had tantrums frequently and became easily upset - so I know how to keep my patience and work through these moments. But these days, at home, my core (my chi... my sanity) is always dying for a break when the clock hits 5 o'clock, which I use to get at my job, but that doesn't happen when you're at home, alone, without your husband. So I just have to push through, as I'm sure many mommy's out there do, everyday.

Don't get me wrong, though. Bear is still very sweet, she's just becoming testy, she's experimenting with me, and I really need to remind myself that she's just learning about me and how things work. She's trying to see how far she can push mommy and what she can get away with. And I know, if I want her to learn appropriately from her testy behaviors, I need to keep calm and follow through. Which I've been doing, but it's harder now to fully let these moments roll off my back like they once did. I never EVER over react with bear (it's something I promised myself I would never do, and though this may change some day in the future, it is one of the things I truly hope to keep in check, above all other things) but lately during these events, I feel all muddled up and flustered inside - as if I'm heading in a direction of overreacting. I haven't gotten to the angered stage but I feel that I'm not responding 100% the way I'd really like to; I just can't seem to fully shake the moment. I want to be able to just go with it, in a relaxed manner. I expect her to act this way - as all toddlers do, but those quick behaviors can leave you flustered at times.

I know this will all pass soon, bear will settle in once she figures out that her testy attempts aren't going to get her very far. I'm sure we will be up and down with tantrums and testiness for the next few years -which I'm ready for; I signed up for this when I decided to be a mom! I just need to find a way to stay positive and keep my energy up. Which is much easier said than done...


Here's my plan:

1) Smile when I feel flustered. For some reason a smile seems to take the edge off of a crummy moment. Now I just need to remember to do this, in the moment!

2) Do Yoga or Cardio everyday. I've been living up to this for the most part, I've at least hit 5 out of 7 days for the past two weeks. I'm hoping to eventually wake up at 6 am for my workout so I can use that energy to start my day off better. I'll start that once I'm successful with this list.

3) Go to bed early and nap during nap time, when needed. This will be the hardest one to do!


I'll post back soon on my progress!

xoxo
Bear's mom

Acadia, Second Mommy In Command.

There's a reason I was blessed with one of the naughtiest dogs on the planet, I am still able to find the strength to love her during her most naughty moments...

I say that probably more in reference to previous naughty episodes... As for today, we had another blow, as we still have them every now and then. But Acadia is a dog so I really shouldn't expect her to be perfect, and as much as I don't understand her I know she frequently feels the same way about me. Now that we have grown out of the attention and dominance seeking puppyhood behavior, I am now finding that most of her adult naughtiness is Acadia's way of trying to protect bear. This morning was a good example of that-- we were approached by a wondering, unleashed, no owner any where to be found, dog while we sat on the lawn outside. As soon as Acadia saw the dog she went nuts! I mean real nuts ~add a bouncing tigger and a dash of a mama grizzly and you've got yourself a nutty Acadia...  Just before the dog showed up, bear sat by one of the trees out front, digging, and exploring. I sat next to bear and Acadia sat on the opposite side of me, with her leash. Acadia instantly jumped up as the dog approached and began to bark, a loud threatening bark, and tried as hard as she could to get towards the dog. Acadia is a very large dog, she weighs somewhere around 75 pounds, which is pure muscle. I only weigh about 45 pounds more than she does, with more fat than muscle, so this was no easy feat (for a lack of better words...) for me. It was the first time in a long time that I had trouble controlling her and getting her to snap out of it and listen. I did not feel at all threatened by the unknown dog in regards to bear, she sat by the tree, laughing at the whole circus-like event that was unfolding in front of her as I tried to regain control. And amidst my struggle, the obtrusive  dog, who annoyingly ruined our morning play, never once came up towards bear. It stayed down the hill on the side walk, barking back at Acadia as it's collar jingle-jangled a merry tune with it's tags and jewels that hung from it's vibrating neck ~ Perhaps Acadia was really doing her job, those barks obviously were telling the dog something. I'm guessing she was saying: "back up!"

As the whole episode continued to played out, Acadia just wouldn't back down, she was throwing her body all over the place and I eventually had to march her towards our stairway, with all of the strength that I had. I then quickly zipped my head back around to check on bear, she was still happily watching everything pan out and the little dog was still down the hill. And just as I started to walk back to the tree, bear started to take some steps towards the hill, I yelled for her stop and quickly rushed after her. Luckily bear listened and my neighbor, at the exact same time, came out to help me. The neighbor grabbed bear and then watched her while I put Acadia inside. And once the chaos had ended, I immediately regretted my actions, In hindsight I should have just let Acadia go and grabbed bear. Though this could have led to another type of mess, I would not have been putting bear in any sort of danger. My instincts, during the event, told me that the dog was only interested in Acadia, but now I feel like an idiot mother! I should never have assumed that any dog is safe around bear, just like I should never assume that Acadia will behave around other children. I am terribly angry with myself, all I can do now is learn from this and remind myself that next time I will do things differently. Though there will NOT be a next time because I will no longer be bringing Acadia outside for bear's playtime. It just isn't safe to have Acadia out with use while we play on the lawn, at least if Chris isn't there with us. I just hope my neighbor doesn't think I'm a total nut job... She does not own a dog, and is terrified of them. It took her about two years to get comfortable with us passing her on the side walk while we walked Acadia. It really means a lot that she was willing to come out and help me. It is a nice reminder that we are surrounded by wonderful, caring people.

And just like this incident, there is always a lesson to be learned. Whether it's a sock she stole or a late night bark ~ Acadia is just doing what she is meant to do. We have come a long way from puppyhood. One of the most amazing things about Acadia is that she always loves me at my least lovable times so how can I not give her the same? I need to remind myself that this was a circumstance, it is the way things panned out that flustered me, not my dog, she was doing her job. And I will praise myself in the fact that I can see some positive in this not-so-positive episode.

Please forgive me for sometimes I am an idiot, too!

Bear's Mom~